Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Randomize
