toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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