I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
