yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
nutella sex= disaster
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Randomize
