I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
