Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
