What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
