My friends, they love my intelligence
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
