the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
nutella sex= disaster
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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