fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
