oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
