can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
