Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
