...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize