I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize