What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
