Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
