i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
