3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
