Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
