I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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