so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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