Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
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