I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
