my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
