Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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