That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
