yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
