The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
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