There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
