yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
