I like to think it a success when the cops are called
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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