Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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