It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
