i don't plan on having that self control this summer
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Randomize
