Your face is a jimmy john
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
