I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
