Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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