She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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