I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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