So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
