Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
