This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
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