do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize