My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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