I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
