not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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