i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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