Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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