Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
she told me i tasted like america
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
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