You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
You're a waste of cheezeits
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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