there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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