are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
