i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
operation harelip BJ is a go
I wish life had little blips of pornography
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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