So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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