Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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