There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
