you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
