and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Randomize
