before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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