i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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