i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
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